


Christmas in the Pit, Chapter One

by lotr58



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Angst, Emotional Turmoil, M/M, Rickyl Writers' Group, Secret Santa, Sweetness and Hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:16:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotr58/pseuds/lotr58
Summary: Rick and Daryl are stuck in the pit overnight.  Luckily, there are no zombies, but there are emotional confessions and Christmas reminiscing.





	Christmas in the Pit, Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TWDObsessive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/gifts).



> This is my gift to TWDObsessive. Her request was: Crying, comfort, love confessions. Specific prompt: Daryl and Rick get stuck in the pit overnight and no zombies fall in. What happens?
> 
> I hope I did it justice. Enjoy!

“You’re my brother, Daryl. Don’t ever forget that. 

Rick looked at his friend—his brother—in silence, waiting for a response. A nod. A grunt. Anything to acknowledge his words and the meaning behind them. Nothing. 

The other man stood silent and still, staring at the ground as if contemplating his next move and almost unconsciously, Rick held his breath, suddenly terrified at what he might say or do. The words they’d hurled at each other in anger ran through his mind like a nightmare on continuous repeat. Daryl’s words, in particular, replayed in his mind, over and over, softening his heart as they registered because reflecting back on them now, he could hear the hurt coming through loud and clear.

_“You mean locking me in a damn closet? Parading me around so I couldn’t say nothin? You got no idea, man. No idea what he did to me.” ___

____

__

_“What about the rest of us?” ___

____

____

_“I’d die for you…I would have died for Carl. You know that.” ___

____

____

Words filled with pain, coming from a place of anguish and suffering. And at those words, he’d reacted in the only way he knew how to respond to this man, his friend, his brother. Reaching out, he attempted to place a comforting hand on the nearest shoulder, only to have the other man shake him off and move just out of reach, head down and chest heaving with the emotion of the moment.

Taking a deep breath and pushing down the hurt, he withdrew his hand and took a step back, giving the hunter some space. Standing quietly, Rick attempted to silence the maelstrom of emotions swirling through his mind. He wouldn’t hurt this man for the world and all of his actions had been to benefit the group. Now, though, he realized that for all his good intentions, he had caused pain to others, in particular to Daryl, even though hurting him was the last thing he’d ever want to do. 

Watching the man standing in front of him, obviously still attempting to regain control of himself, he realized with sorrow that he was the cause of much of that pain. With his single-minded focus on bringing Negan down and then imprisoning the man once the war was over, he had totally disregarded Daryl’s feelings, not even considering what the Savior had put him through. And at this moment, standing in front of him, he was seeing the result of his decision. An overwrought Daryl Dixon, struggling to contain his emotions. Heaving a sigh and feeling a wave of sadness overtake him, Rick told himself he would give the other man all the time he needed to deal with his feelings and the situation.

Now, five uncomfortable minutes later, he was still waiting for some sort of response. Just as he was about to say something to break the silence, Daryl raised his head slightly, blue eyes peering up from the fringe of hair still covering part of his face. Their gaze met for a brief moment before the hunter’s eyes darted away as if he needed to look at anything but Rick. But that fleeting glimpse was enough to confirm what the deputy already knew. His friend was definitely hurting and despite his ‘leave me alone’ vibe, Daryl didn’t really want to be alone with his pain. He was okay with Rick being there and, in fact, needed him to be there.

Moving towards the side of the pit, Rick allowed himself to slide down until he was sitting, leaning back against the dirt wall, willing to give his friend the time he needed to calm down. Remaining silent, he just watched as Daryl began to pace back and forth, his breathing quickening almost to the point that he was hyperventilating. Seeing Daryl so agitated, Rick debated his decision to leave him be, but before he could decide whether or not to intervene, the hunter whirled around, moving to stand in front of him, looking down with his eyes wild and his breathing erratic.

“I was all alone, man. They took my clothes, my freedom. They took everything from me. Fed me dog food, paraded me around like a trained monkey. And I couldn’t do anything about it. The only thing that kept me goin’ was thinkin’ about you and knowin’ you was alright. But it just…it was…”

Standing slowly, Rick took a tentative step towards the other man, then another and another, until he was standing in front of him, his own eyes filled with compassion.

“I know, Daryl. I can’t imagine what you went through.”

Reaching over he began to gently massage the other man’s neck, trying to loosen some of the tension he could feel built up there. The hunter stood still, allowing the touch, and gradually Rick could feel the muscles loosen, the other man even seeming to lean into the touch, personal as it was.

Head bowed, Daryl spoke again, voice so soft and filled with anguish that Rick had to duck his own head towards him to make out what he was saying.

“You don’t know, man. You got no idea what it was like. It brought me back…it brought me back to a time and a place I don’t like to think about. And ya wasn’t there! I know ya didn’t leave me to them, but it sure felt like it.”

Stunned, Rick stopped his soft kneading of the other man’s neck. Had he heard his friend correctly? Was Daryl blaming him for being imprisoned by Negan? Surely not. Even though he now recognized the impact of his actions and decisions on the others, including Daryl, hearing the other man blame him directly took him by surprise. But then, his silent introspection was answered by the hunter’s next utterance.

“I felt like I was abandoned, all over again. Just like when Merle used ta take off and leave me alone with…with…with him.”

The last was voiced so softly that Rick had to strain to hear it. Beneath the words, he could sense the intense emotion emanating from his friend. 

Feeling his heart slowly breaking at the hunter’s words, Rick had to blink back the tears which suddenly appeared. Shaking his head in sorrow, he looked at the other man, an expression of sorrow on his face.

“Daryl. I…I…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you felt like that.”

Lowering his head and reaching up, he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes before they clouded his vision even more than they already had. Glimpsing up, he saw Daryl just standing there, still as a statue, tears running down his face. And that hurt the deputy more than anything. The fact that he was the cause of those tears. 

“I meant what I said, Daryl. You _are _my brother. Always.”__

____

____

Reaching over, he placed a tentative hand on the other man’s shoulder, the lightest of touches meant to reassure and comfort. To let his friend know he wasn’t alone in his pain. Squeezing softly, he guided the hunter over to the wall he, himself, had recently vacated. 

“Come on. Let’s sit down.”

Overwrought and emotionally drained as he was, Daryl offered no resistance, simply following his friend over to the wall and sliding down so they were sitting side by side. Looking up and seeing no help in sight and no resolution to their situation, Rick sighed and settled in for the duration. 

“It looks like we’re going to be here for a while. We might as well get comfortable.” 

Though he gave no outward indication, Rick was doing cartwheels inside when his friend just nodded and stayed seated. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the hunter wiping his eyes surreptitiously. It broke his heart, though, to know that he was part of the reason for those tears and that his friend believed he had to hide his pain away. Especially from him.

Reaching over with trepidation, he tentatively wrapped his arm around his friend’s shoulders, drawing the other man closer, moving slowly so as not to scare him away. The sudden warmth against his side reminded him of the coolness in the air and he stifled a shiver, glad to be in such close proximity to his quiet companion. Gratified, he felt the hunter lean a little closer and his arm tightened around the broad shoulders. 

Maybe a change of topic would lighten the situation, he thought.

“You know what I just realized? By my calculations, it’s Christmas Eve.”

Cocking his head to the side, Daryl looked at Rick out of the corner of his eye. 

“How do you know that? And what does it matter anyway?”


End file.
